Food order Paridhabangal

How i order food:

Me: “Helloooo… Sangeetha restauranta?”
Other side: “Hi Arun. It’s me your old friend Sangeetha. How are you.”
Me: “hahahaha i was kidding” *keeps the phone and dials the correct number*
Me: As soon as the call is picked up. “Oru plate poori, Oru plate idli, Oru pongal”
~~The end. Happy ending. la la la la la. Happy food coma.~~

How my wife orders food:

Mrs : “I am wondering if you could take an order for home delivery via telephone right now?”
Other side: hello.. wait.. english… slow…
Mrs: “hmm… Order panlaama?”
Other side: “Sollunga”
Mrs: “Cauliflower Dosa irukka?”
Other side: “irukku”
Mrs: “Adhu venam. How do you make this Navarathna Khorma”
Other side: (Trying to explain for 5 mins)
Mrs: “Sounds nice. I ll try that later. Innikku vendam.”
Other side: Then what is the order!
Mrs: “1 onion masal dosa without onion and without masala”
Other side: *cries and resigns job*

When Sani bhagvan was on special duty

Take some popcorn and tissue boxes before you read this post.

As you know, I live in Dubai Vivekananda street, near bus stand. I wanted to visit Chennai metraas but i was asked by my office to go to Bangladesh on an official matter (secret. i won’t tell). Obviously big boss is Kamalhassan so I planned to visit Bangladesh before coming to Chennai. I should have gone to Dhaka, come back to Dubai and should have started to Chennai from Dubai. But me being Ramanujam, I calculated (A + B)^2 , PERT/CPM model for shortest route etc and decided to travel Chennai straight from Dhaka.

There is no direct flight from Dhaka to Chennai so I booked Jetairways Dhaka-> Delhi and Delhi->Chennai. I should have reached Chennai within 6 hours as per the plan and I couldn’t contain the excitement in me. I left early from the hotel, smiled at strangers, helped college girl who dropped her notebooks, helped a grandma crossing her street and so on with Pharrell Williams’ Happy on the background.

The line for check-in was like nanganallur aanji kovil for ramanavami. After finishing my coffee, bath and breakfast while waiting on the queue, i managed to reach the counter where I was told by a beautiful big-eyed Bangla girl ‘I love you’. Just kidding. She told me that she will not check me in (hehehe) because the flight is delayed by 1.5 hours and I will miss my connecting flight if she checks me in now. She took personal interest in me and said, it will be in best of my interests to wait and take a different connecting flight boarding pass from Dhaka itself so I can just chill in Delhi airport while having sweet lassi. How can I not believe those eyes.

I nodded ok and waited for some more time after which i was given a boarding pass for a transit flight from Delhi 1.5 hours later than the original scheduled flight. No big deal right? In total 1.5 hours delay to reach my home. Instead of reaching Sun TV’s Kula Deivam serial, i will reach for Vani rani.

After that I had my worst boarding experience ever in any airport. After waiting for 1 hour to get a gate number I proceeded to the gate. That gate was like Tirupathi free laddu seva queue where 157 separate lines merged into two for security check-in and boarding. Looks like same gate for 2-3 flights and everyone wants to get in at the same time. Almost

After some serious-look fighting, leap-frogging and stranger’s armpit smelling, i managed to get inside the gate like Mannan Goundamani (i would say Rajinikanth but you won’t accept) to realize that plane standing in the gate is not mine. This Sharjah plane needs to take-off before they board flight to Delhi. After another wait (by the time the actual delay is 3 hours) flight was boarded and i landed in Delhi half an hour before connecting flight departure.

I was told i missed the flight! And since the next flight leaving to Chennai was fully booked i was given a flight ticket to Bangalore and from there to Chennai (ETA 10.30 PM in Chennai. You smirking Sani! At least let me catch-up Valli serial which will start by 10.30.

My flight kept circling Bangalore airport without landing and the pilot was like Aircel user “Signal not coming!”. By the time he landed my Chennai flight was gone. I generally avoid crying in public but now i could not control. It was like watching ‘Moondram pirai’ climax scene on repeat mode for me.

After doing 5 mins of meditation and taking my BP tablet, i went to the transfers check-in.  The guy told me that i have missed my last flight for the day to Chennai and the next flight will be early morning 6.30 AM. After using my entire vocabulary of swear words and yelling – “I want to see your manager, your CEO and your Prime Minister” i was given a lounge coupon for the night stay.

After spending the night watching Black Mirror on Netflix, i was hoping to reach Chennai at least for break fast. Here is where some uncles will quote ‘When going gets tough, try banana’. Because of fog, all flights are delayed for departure. After waiting 3+ hours in the gate i boarded what they called a plane. It looked like Pallavan bus with two antenna. The pilot told us that we are on a queue and our token no is 39. Why god why!

 

After landing in Chennai after 24 hours from my scheduled time, without sleep, depressing tv series, sipping coffees from three cities in transit, I lost it when they announced on the radio – “Welcome to Chennai. Hope you had a pleasant trip with us”.

After reaching home i went straight to my mom and asked “What that jolna pai josiar mama told i can do as Sani peryarchi pariharam?”

#SavageSani
Arun Ram